August 1st, 2005 | The lowdown by Aliwyn Cole

Buffalo Racing.

The infamous buffalo races of Chonburi are held once a year, usually in October, during the three week school holidays. I really didn't know what to expect, apart from that it involved buffalos and running. I imagined a hoard of the great skinny horned animals hoofing at great speed towards a finish line, with spectators running for their lives away from the wild beasts.

I arrived at the race course at 8.30 in the morning, having been warned that the races were to be held early in the day. In typical Thai style, the races began about an hour later than scheduled, and so I passed a little bit of time by wandering under the awnings which sheltered the buffaloes from the already intense heat. The buffaloes stared back at me while swaying side to side, and children, with the same grand plan as me of sheltering from the heat, stared at me and giggled.

The Thais consider 'kuays' Thai for buffalo, to be stupid animals, and use the name as an insult. Don't, whatever you do, for whatever bizarre reason, compare someone to a buffalo, as the response will be a hostile glare, and quite possibly a punch if you're in a bar. I felt quite sorry for the association of stupidity with the placid creatures. They swayed side to side, as I admired their huge long horns. One of the more, perhaps, respected or handsome creatures had been adorned in a pink and gold jacket and "horn-gloves", or whatever a horn garment is called! Another had been completely covered in orange paint. Thailand, despite having thousands of stray dogs and cats, and a seemingly uncaring attitude towards them, then contradicts this by adorning any animal lucky enough to become a pet, in cute outfits and paint. Any fashionable young lady is incomplete without the Paris Hilton accessory of a poodle, dressed in matching cute outfit-a strange thing to do to the poor animals who are probably sweltering in the heat.

In announcement that the races were about to begin, a procession of local schools and farming organizations' floats began. This included a brass band, baton twirling, some giggling children dressed as bugs, some more giggling children painted as blue and green thingamabobs, and what I think was the beauty queens of Chonburi, dressed in traditional Thai costume and, indeed, looking very beautiful.

Finally, it was time to make my way to the race course, which was perhaps 100 meters long. The crowds were separated from the race course by a thin plastic fence, and the finish line was extremely accessible, health and safety being the responsibility of two extremely stressed-out looking security guards. As the start of the races were counted down, the guards shouted 'bi loi', Thai for 'go away', at the heaving mass of excited children, photographers and cameramen. They were, of course, ignored, and I’m afraid to say that I was one of the people who ignored them. I jostled for space, in order to take pictures and ascertain what buffalo racing entailed, everything else paling into insignificance as the buffaloes approached us-it would have been every pickpocket’s dream, being squeezed against lots of distracted foreigners such as myself.

As the buffaloes hoofed their way towards the finish line, I saw that the 'jockeys' were riding bare-back, and that they were actually holding on to the loose skin of the buffaloes. That's right, bare back riding with absolutely no reins. The skinny Thai men either had great skill and balance, or just incredible luck, as none of them fell off. The race track became a haze of red dust, and the crowds struggled to catch the end of the race through the blur of dust and heads. Somehow, I managed to take a few pictures of the amazing jockeys atop their steeds.

The races continued for another hour, by which time I was caked in red dust and baked in the sun. The festivities continued after this in the form of beer drinking under the shelter of tents. I later spoke to my family about my day at the races, and they informed me that they had seen coverage on the news at home in England.